Whether you want to call it true happiness or joy, there is a deep and fulfilling state of mind that everyone wishes to achieve, but many miss the mark through the pursuit of pleasure. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with pleasure, it has many limitations.
Here we will examine how to look beyond the shallow, momentary happiness of pleasure and cultivate a more meaningful and sustainable joy that can carry us through both pleasure and pain. This is the secret to finding serenity.
Fleeting pleasure
Pleasure is the good feeling we get from various experiences and activities. It usually involves stimulation of one or more of the five senses, and it can range from subtle to intense; but this desirable state rarely lasts. Because it is an emotional response to external factors, pleasure cannot be maintained indefinitely, nor can it provide lasting satisfaction.
Enjoying a piece of chocolate, for instance, might be pleasurable for a minute or so; but continuing to eat more and more chocolate in an attempt to maintain that feeling will ultimately just make you feel gross.
Joy, on the other hand, has to do with the heart and mind. It transcends in the face of external factors and can transform a person fundamentally.
What Is Joy?
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Joy is often referred to in spiritual teachings as having to do with faith in the Divine, and trust that what the Creator has arranged for you is correct. It comes with accepting and being content under all circumstances, knowing that everything happens for a reason — regardless of whether we can see the reason or not.
In The Bible (NKJV), James 1:2 states, “My brethren, count it all joy, when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience,” suggesting that we should joyfully accept suffering and endure tough trials, because they bring us closer to God.
Lao Tzu is said to have taught, “Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”
Buddhist practitioners cultivate a mental state called mudita, or sympathetic joy. This is a selfless joy for other’s happiness without any feeling of jealousy. Mudita is considered one of the four highest qualities of the heart. It fosters the consciousness of “oneness” — the interconnection of all beings.
When psychologists look at joy, they agree that joy goes beyond self. Dr. Pamela Ebstyne King sees joy as a virtue, “an enduring, deep delight in what holds the most significance,” and “something one can practice, cultivate, or make a habit.”
In essence, joy is a nourishing contentment that goes beyond physical comfort or pleasure. Through persistent spiritual work and raising one’s consciousness, joy can become a powerful and enduring source of strength in your life.
Cultivating joy
The inner fulfillment inherent with joy is not achieved through physical sensations or material gain. Instead, it requires cultivating the heart and mind to care less about personal interests and focus on more meaningful pursuits. There are a number of approaches that can help you advance in your quest.
Serve others
Share, be kind, and care for others. Remember we are all interconnected and cherish any opportunity to help someone.
For it is in giving that we receive
Saint Francis of Assisi
Get involved in something greater than yourself. Volunteer in the community, lend a hand in a group project, or teach something you’re good at. As Leo Tolstoy wrote, “The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.”
Be mindful
Pay attention to your thoughts, and notice how frequently your perception is compromised by anticipations, assumptions, distractions and emotions. With practice, you can learn to observe your thoughts as an impartial witness. Then you can step back from these distractions and gain a clear perspective.
Whether you are washing dishes or writing a thesis, your heart will rejoice at being present in the moment.
Be grateful
Acknowledge all the good in your life, and take a more positive attitude towards the negative. Whether something appears to be good or bad on the surface, consider what deeper purpose it might have.
As reinforcement, keep a gratitude journal, where you identify something you are thankful for each day. This can be especially difficult in times of loss, but you can still be grateful for the time you shared together.
Take a spiritual path
Be receptive to Divine guidance and inspiration. Learn to take attachments and pursuits in this material world lightly, and follow the Creator’s perfect plan. Cultivate virtue and meditate.
Draw upon your strengths
Although we tend to bemoan our inadequacies, each of us has our own set of natural abilities and talents.
Stop being limited by what you can’t do, and discover and develop your unique capabilities. Putting them to good use can be greatly rewarding in and of itself; but working with your strengths also improves concentration, helps you learn new things more easily, and boosts creativity.
Live according to your values
Take time to establish your spiritual goals and ethical standards, then strive to live up to them. Being clear about what is important to you gives you the direction and motivation to move towards your best self.
All day, every day we are faced with choices. Opt often for the actions that promise greater, lasting fulfillment, and less for instant, personal gratification.
Experience awe and wonder
Awe happens when we experience something so incredible that we need to expand our minds to accept it. It gives us a different perspective, where our sense of ego becomes smaller and we become more in tune with others, our environment, and the universe.
Life is brimming with small miracles; they are especially apparent in nature. Learn to appreciate little instances of wonder all around you rather than taking them for granted.
Forgive
Recognize the futility of resentment and let it go, completely. Remember that we are all a work in progress, and have patience with yourself and others.
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
Confucius
Finding serenity
As you continue to build a more solid foundation of joy in your life, it will become one of your greatest strengths — a serenity that carries you calmly through ups and downs with clarity, grace, and wisdom.
