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The Feeling of Being Alone

Feeling abandoned by the world? Forgive the pun, but you’re not alone. Never has the world been so connected and lonely at the same time. Loneliness is scary, emotionally depleting, and physically dangerous for many people. If you suffer from loneliness, check out some of the tips given below to help alleviate the situation. If you know someone who suffers from loneliness, don’t hold back — go help them.

Stop thinking

When you’re alone, your first thoughts are of desperation. You think about how no one cares about you and that you have no friends or family to share your life, your joys, and sorrows; you’re the one standing alone at get-togethers; you have no one to wish you well or celebrate with you during joyous days like Valentine’s Day; for you, anniversaries are non-existent and often painful.

The list goes on with a myriad of thoughts. The fact of the matter is you have entrapped yourself in a negative thought cycle, with your mind being the culprit here. It amplifies your dreaded notions and self-victimization: “Oh, poor me!” This is a classic case of self-sabotage.

Just stop it. Stop thinking about yourself. You are not that important. In the grand scale of things, you are but a tiny being on a blue speck of dust floating around in the enormous universe. There are 7 billion beings just like you. If you have the chance to read this article, you must have access to a compatible device with Internet connectivity and electricity.

That itself puts you in the top economic bracket. There are billions who suffer daily, without their basic needs being met, like food, water, a roof over their heads, and clothes. If at all you have the urge to think about something, feel gratitude. Focus your thoughts on the less fortunate and think of some ways you could help them. That is time well spent.

Make an effort

Make a genuine effort and reach out to family and friends. A person’s got to have someone. If they live close by, prepare a dish for them. If you don’t know how to cook, buy some flowers. If there are any minor issues that affect your relationship, consider talking about it and resolving the matter. More often than not, talking will resolve it.

If you don’t have immediate relatives, go further down the family line. If that’s missing, walk across the street to your neighbors. Remember, everybody is suffering from their own problems. Make an effort, and you will see that most other people are happy to welcome you into their lives.

If you have crooked neighbors, consider joining clubs and associations. (Image: Pixabay / CC0 1.0)

For the rare souls who have crooked neighbors and dangerous family members, there is the option of clubs and associations. There must be some of those in your vicinity or close by. Join a hobby club. Don’t have a hobby? Start one. Remember, it’s not really about the activity, it’s more about meeting people. If you don’t have any of those options available where you live, then move out and go somewhere where the people are.

Volunteer

Ninety-five percent of people have it backward — they presume that accumulating possessions is the key to happiness when it’s exactly the opposite. Have you felt that rare tingling sensation when you have opened up to someone and genuinely, without any selfish interest, ventured to help them out? That’s true happiness. Give of yourself and from what you have, and the feeling of delight is unquestionable.

Go volunteer at a local nursing home. The elderly, who have genuine reasons to feel lonely and neglected, will be immensely grateful. Take time and spend it on giving back to the community. You must have a cause you believe in. If you don’t, join similar-minded people and find out what they’re volunteering for — that just might be right for you. When you come across people or animals that are neglected, old, sick, and helpless, you will stop feeling sorry for yourself. Now, you have bigger things to worry about.

The bigger picture

How do you define life? Maybe your definition has something to do with how you feel. So, a good strategy would be to change your definition. Cultivate a different mindset. For example, if you’re attached to wealth or passion, an inadequacy in that department would lead to feeling lost. So change your perspective and think less about these things. Take them lightly. In this scenario, you wouldn’t be bothered much about the loss of these things in your life.

Cultivate a different mindset. (Image: longtrekhome via Flickr CC BY 2.0 )

But then, you’d ask: “If not for wealth or love, what do I live for?” Well, that’s a deep question that cannot fit within the confines of this article. But it’s a good question. It’s a starting point. Ponder more and maybe the answer will come to you. So in conclusion, think about what life means to you. Find a purpose that is greater than yourself, and you’ll always find things to do and achieve.

There are other things you can do to help yourself out of loneliness. Here are some:

Create a plan to take care of yourself. Regardless of what I said, you are important. If nothing works out, seek professional help. There are good people who specialize in helping out when you’re down and can’t get up by yourself. Don’t worry too much. A bright future awaits you. So till then, be nice to yourself, because life is what you make of it.

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